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Plus: How your envy can be useful, why you're an unreliable narrator of your own life, and why you keep choosing partners who echo the unfinished business of your childhood. Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over three million copies and has been translated into over 30 languages. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The New York Times "Ask the Therapist" advice column and is co-host of the popular "Dear Therapists" podcast and the advice podcast Since You Asked. In this episode we talk about: Why insight alone doesn't change anything, and what "idiot compassion" gets wrong Whether you actually need to like your therapist Why there's no such thing as a hierarchy of pain How to spot a help-rejecting complainer, including in yourself What envy is actually trying to tell you Why a real boundary is a bid for connection, not a cutoff Why we're all unreliable narrators, and how to edit the story you tell about yourself Why we keep choosing partners who echo our unfinished business Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources: Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Workbook Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Journal Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! This episode is sponsored by: Function Health: Join at functionhealth.com/happier or use the gift code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris